variantl1130 | apocalypse how

HELLO?
HI WHO IS THIS??

Who are you? Introduce yourself before you hassle me for my name.

TEQUILA SUNSET.
MY TIME HAS COME.
NOW WHO ARE YOU?

There‘s no way your name is Tequila Sunset.

Are you ADI or some troll?

IT IS NOT THE NAME MY MOTHER GAVE ME BUT IT IS MINE.
LOOK, FORGET THE NAME.
I AM PART OF THE ADI AND I SAW YOU IN THE DIRECTORY.
THAT IS WHY I AM SAYING HELLO.

...Okay. I'll accept that. But I was under the impression the drink was called Tequila Sunrise?

I'm Loki.

Hello.

I AM THE END OF THE PARTY.
HENCE THE SUNSET.
HELLO LOKI.
ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD DAY?
WHAT TROUBLES YOU?

Is that how you greet everyone as soon as you meet them, with "What troubles you?" I don't think you and I are quite there yet. But I am having a good day, at least.

How are you?

I LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS THAT'S ALL.
I'M FEELING TERRIBLE BUT I ALWAYS AM.
IT'S NORMAL AT THIS POINT.
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR GOOD DAY?
WHAT MAKES IT GOOD?

I tend to keep my problems to myself. Sorry you're not feeling so great.

The way you're speaking makes me think English is not your first language. Is there a different language you'd prefer to speak? I'll know it.

NO IT IS NOT.
ENGLISH DOES NOT EXIST IN MY WORLD.
I SPEAK SURESNE.

[...Not of the Nine Realms at all.

Loki hates feeling stupid. This text arrives much, much later than the one before.]

I actually don't know that one.

[SUBJECT CHANGE.]

Were you at the barbecue?

THAT'S OK.
I EXPECTED AS MUCH.

[ maybe someone in the ADI is from the same world as him, but that seems less and less likely by the day. ]

I WAS YES.
WANDA IS A FRIEND OF MINE AND TOLD ME ABOUT IT.
IT WAS A GOOD TIME, RIGHT?

[Anyone watching Loki text might catch him muttering, "Oh, you expected as much, hm?" to himself. But that's just his temper talking.]

Yes, it was a very good time. I was the one conducting the impromptu orchestra by the fire, if you need a face for the username.

I like Wanda.

OH YES.
I REMEMBER YOU NOW.
YOU WERE QUITE GOOD.
EVER THINK ABOUT KARAOKE?

Thank you! Much appreciated.

Do you ever think about karaoke?

ALL THE TIME.
LIKE, CONSTANTLY.
MAYBE WE SHOULD GO TOGETHER?
IF YOU WANT TO ANSWER MY QUESTION THAT IS AND NOT TURN IT BACK ON ME.

Apologies. I was a little sore about my voice being suggested merely for karaoke... but since then I've changed my mind. I'd love to go to karaoke. Do you know a place?

NOT YET.
I AM ON THE HUNT HOWEVER.
ALSO IT TURNS OUT I DON'T REALLY KNOW ANY MUSIC FROM THIS REALITY.
WHICH MAKES THE PROSPECT OF SINGING HARDER.

Do keep me updated.
Have you heard of Spotify? I've been using it to bring myself up to speed on local modern music. You've got to hear Billie Eilish if you haven't already.

I HAVE NOT.
THANK YOU FOR THIS KNOWLEDGE.
IS BILLIE EILISH, IN YOUR OPINION, *DISCO*?

I wouldn't say so. Is disco what you're into?

IT'S ALL I AM INTO.
THAT AND DEPRESSINGLY SAD BANGERS.

You're in luck, because disco is a few decades old around here. I'm willing to bet it's VERY popular at karaoke bars. Listen to this.

[Attached is a link to a Spotify playlist.]

YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST HELPFUL PEOPLE I HAVE MET SO FAR.
I WILL HAVE TO REPAY YOU FOR THIS WEALTH OF KNOWLEDGE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT I WILL.

I'll call in a favor when I'm in need... Though I suppose I need to know who you are if I ever need to call it in. I know your name is Tequila and that you were at the barbecue, but not much else.

I AM TEQUILA SUNSET.
MESSAGE ME WHEN YOU ARE IN NEED.
I WILL RIDE INTO TOWN AND RUN THROUGH FIRE AND BULLETS TO BE AT YOUR SIDE.

I'll bite. I'm in need of a glass of wine. Bring it to Bonnie's, room 12.

IS THERE A PREFERENCE FOR WINE?
RED, WHITE, ANOTHER COLOR I AM UNAWARE OF EXISTING.

As long as it's expensive, it's fine.

OH.
IT WILL NOT BE EXPENSIVE.
I AM VERY POOR AND ALCOHOL COSTS A SMALL FORTUNE IN THIS REALITY.

There's a bottle of Grgich Hills in the kitchen, just bring that up with a few glasses.

VERY WELL.
BUT ONLY FOR YOU.
I'M CURRENTLY NOT DRINKING ON ACCOUNT OF ALCOHOLISM.

[Two texts in rapid succession. First text:]

Then bring it up with one glass.

[Second text:]

Sorry, that's insensitive, isn't it? Don't worry about the wine. I mostly just want to put a face to your name.

[ there's a minute of pause, unlike the other texts that came rapid, and then- ]

LEAVE YOUR ROOM.
THEN TURN RIGHT.

We need to talk.

Is this really happening? Are we breaking up?

[Ugh.]

Were it so easy.

You’ve been here long enough to form an opinion on magic and using it in this universe. Care to share it?

[Ha.]

It's complicated. I'm not interested in causing anyone harm, but I loathe the idea of being on ADI business without magic at my disposal. Or any business, knowing the trouble I seem to get into.

It's just damn annoying is what it is.

[Wow. Okay.

There’s a bit of a delay.]

All right, I’ll admit it. That’s a more levelheaded answer than I expected from you.

I'm full of surprises! I take it you feel about the same.

I do. Except I think I’m past the “annoyed” part and moved straight into making a decision about what to do.

That’s what I wanted to talk about. How to move forward with this in a way that doesn’t leave us useless in an emergency situation, but without delving too deep into the scaring-innocents-for-magic-and-maybe-going-mad-because-of-it territory.

We really are on the same page. I’d been meaning to reach out to you about exactly this. Though it seems you’re ahead of the game on the planning front, because my success has been… limited.

So, what’s the plan?

Still a work in progress.

[Maybe not all that promising, but at least he’s being honest.]

I’ve already spoken to Wanda about this. Any input would be appreciated. But the general guidelines are:

1. No frivolous magic use. Keep in mind what we have to *do* in order to keep our spells working; that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

2. Cast spells only when absolutely necessary. I’m going to take leap of faith and trust your judgement on this one.

3. Small scares only to regain your magic potential. If any one of us starts justifying terrorizing people on a growing and/or grand scale, it’s time to start questioning if we’ve gone too far.

4. Do NOT tell ADI about any of this.

Edited 2021-10-14 18:24 (UTC)

[After a considerable pause...]

I see what you mean by "work in progress." Thoughts:

1. Obviously.

2. Obviously.

3. Obviously.

4. Obviously. Do you really think I'm going to tell the fun police about the fun I'm having?

While I agree with all of your little rules, I am concerned with the fact that this was my entire plan to begin with, and that it didn't feel like much of a plan when it was all in my head. But if you're open to ideas...

Sure, you say “obviously”, but I think you underestimate just how stubborn some people are. Not everyone sees restraint as caution, but instead as ADI telling them what to do.

[Should he be worried that Loki, of all people, has been the one aligned closest to his wavelength? He can dwell on that later.]

We’re lacking in options right now. According to Lehrer, the addiction aspect is unavoidable, unless she’s lying through her teeth about it. So until there’s more evidence that points to the opposite, this is the best I’ve got.

But like I said, yes. I’m open to ideas as we go along.

[If Strange is ever fortunate enough to meet Mobius, that's who he can thank for Loki's very recent attitude adjustment.]

Oh, I *know* how stubborn some people are, because I'm one of them. It's a miracle I'm giving the ADI any benefit; I don't trust a thing they say. And even if the addiction thing is true, I'm very hard to manipulate, and I imagine you're the same.

[Wait, what were we just saying about an attitude adjustment?...]

Which brings me to my idea. I'd like to try a Big Scare, but specifically on someone (or something?) deserving. Small Scares really aren't my style, and plus, I'd like to fill my magic supply as much as I can, so if I can succeed in a Big Scare without falling victim to the "addiction" aspect of these terror contracts that I don't believe in anyway... You know what I'm getting at.

And before you scold me, no, I have not attempted that. I haven't found a suitable target.

[There are aspects of Loki that are definitely different than what he would expect from the one who so heinously attacked New York (thanks, Mobius), and yet sometimes things feel as though they haven’t really changed. This, maybe, skirts that invisible line.]

Before I mention anything else, I have to ask: is there a reason for the disbelief?

Edited (clarity ) 2021-10-19 04:25 (UTC)

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